The Courtroom

When you adopt, to make it final, you have to go to a judge. Which means you have to go to court. And personally, the less I go to court, the better.

When we adopted Sports Dude we were scheduled to go to a certain judge, but he was busy with another case. So another judge offered to do it. A lot of our friends and family came with us. Bob and I got to sit at a table in front of the judge. Bob loved the spinning chairs, and kept twisting and driving me nuts. The judge had us introduce ourselves at the table. I remember having to say who I was, and that I was Sports Dude's sister.

This judge was so nice. Later she had Bob and I come up to the platform thingy with her. She gave one of us her gavel and the other, a toy to try to keep Sports Dude from crying. Afterwards she came down and took pictures with us and took all of our picture for us. It was a lot of fun.

So when we adopted Miss Bossy, I was pretty confident of myself since I had had such a good experience before. We finalized Miss Bossy's adoption on a national adoption finalization day. The judge was really nice, but he wasn't as friendly as the judge for Sports Dude's finalization.

At the finalization, we received a certificate, (I think), that showed Sports Dude and Miss Bossy were now ours. We also received a video of the entire finalization. (Hey, did you know that the cameras turn towards noise? So everytime someone talked, the camera was on them.)

Don't be scared to go to an adoption finalization! I think the judges enjoy having happy families come in.

My Thoughts

Like I've said before, I had no problem adjusting to an adopted baby. When my parents came home with my little siblings, I was just as excited than if my mom had had them herself. The only difference was that I didn't go to the hospital to meet my new brother and sister like most older sisters would. I met them when my parents came home.

I remember Bob was really excited to meet Sports Dude when he was born. But Sports Dude was a preemie, and Bob was sick. Bob actually had to put on a mask before he could see Sports Dude.

One more thought, the nice thing about adopting, too, was that Mom was really busy after she brought Sports Dude home, but she wasn't sick and nauseous like she would be if she had been pregnant. That's definitely a plus!!! :)

What is a referral??

When someone tells you, "We got a referral today!", jump around with them! Laugh, squeal, fall on a chair with surprise. For today is a day as special as the day someone has a baby.

An adoption referral is when an agency takes the information about you and your family and matches it to a child whom they think would best fit your family.

Adopting families receive a phone call, e-mail, or letter with the information on the child. If my family was the one receiving the referral, we would pray about the decision and answer the agency whether or not we felt we could provide a home to the child or children.It is such an exciting time, because you are so close to having a new member of the family!!!

For us, since we are adopting from Ethiopia, although the referral is such a thrilling time, we still have to wait for the government of Ethiopia to give us permission. Sometimes they don't give their okay and our case is brought back to court or we have to wait again for another referral.

I hope we won't have to deal with waiting again. But God is in control and if he wants us to adopt again, he will do it in his perfect timing!

Emily

To Birthmoms

Everything to me
By Mark Schultz

I must have held your tears
When they took me from your arms
I'm sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Young and so afraid
Had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried
Oh you had dreams for me
And wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night
And you gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
When you gave me up
Oh you gave everything to me
And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Or would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
Oh I hope that you'd be proud of who I am
Oh you gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And the chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
Oh when you gave me up
You gave everything to me
And when I see you there
Watching from heaven's gate
Into your arms I'm gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was and who I've become
Cuz you gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball with my son late at night
And reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in his room
I'm so grateful that I had this life
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me
Everything to me

Mark Schultz, (a Christian artist), was adopted. He wrote this song to his birthmom.

Think before you speak

You are 5 years old. You are African American.You were adopted when you were newborn. Your adoptive family is white. Your family talks about your birthparents, but the only people you consider your parents are your adoptive parents.

You are looking at the candy in the check out area. Mom is talking with the check out lady. Suddenly you listen.

"Is she adopted?" the lady asks pointing to you.
"Yes," your mom answers.
"Who is her real mother?" the lady continues.
"Are they brother and sister?" the lady continues yet again, pointing to your older African American adopted brother who is placing tic-tacs in the shopping cart.

Ideas fill your mind. Thoughts, that in your little mind, can get tangled up and cause you to believe that your mom isn't your mom, that your big brother isn't your brother.

Your mom glances at your wide eyes. She didn't want thoughts like this in your mind yet. You are too little. End story.

Okay. So what's my point? This is something that drives my mom nuts! People don't think before they speak! They ask questions to adoptive families that adopted children could take the wrong way. We don't mind answering questions about adoption. Spread the word about adoption, for goodness sake! But don't ask careless questions in front of adopted children and if you do ask something, think first how a little kid might take it.

I will probably write more on this, as it is such a large topic! Here is somewhere to go if you want to learn more! http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PositiveLanguage.pdf

Check it out!
Emily

Just Waiting

Waiting for a referral. Oh, I've had a lot of experience right now. For that is what we are doing right now. We are waiting for our social worker to call us about our babies.

Our family has had to do this three times already. (One time it didn't work out). But waiting to hear about Sports Dude and Miss Bossy; I don't remember having to wait very long!

With our wait right now, it could take 1 to 1 1/2 years before we get a referral. But because we are open to twins, (possibly triplets, though triplets don't happen often), any gender, most any special needs, and others, we may receive our referral faster than other people's. It still takes forever, though.

Don't get discouraged from adopting, though! It is worth it. And because I know that, I am so very excited!!!!
Em

Letters with Sports Dude's Birthmom

When we first started the process of adopting Sports Dude, I wrote a letter to the birthmom. Today I don't remember what I said, I only remember promising that we would take good care of him. Sports Dude's birthmom later admitted to us, that when she was looking at our information, my letter was what made her really choose our family.

When my parents left to meet and bring back Sports Dude, I had written yet another letter, again promising to love him and take care of my new little brother. She wrote back and the only thing I remember from it is that she told me that she hoped I would dress up Sports Dude in my dolly clothes! I never did dress him up in doll clothes, but I always loved to pick out his clothes for the day!

Sports Dude's birthmom loved him so much, and she wanted the best for him. I think she did that when she let us adopt him.

We love Sports Dude to the moon and back!!!

Adopting

It's amazing what adoption does to a family. For me, I never, ever think of my little brother and sister being adopted. They are just my siblings. I don't treat them any different than I would if my mom had had them herself.

One of the best things about my parents is that they don't play favorite. They love us all the same and that includes my adopted brother and sister. When Sports Dude and Miss Bossy were born, they went to the hospital and met them and they fell in love with their new babies. Just like they did when they saw Bob and I for the first time.

I love adoption because it gives a family with no hope of their own baby, a chance to have one. And it gives a baby or child a chance for a family.

Adoption is wonderful.
Emily

'Jesus said to him, " 'You shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment and the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself. ' " Matthew 22:37-39

Intro!

Sure, you can read about me in Who Am I, but why did I start this blog? And why is it named what it is?

The answer- I'm starting this blog to share what I think about adoption and my family's journey through adopting from Ethiopia. My family and I are praying for twins. God might have a different plan for our family, however.

The name EM WANTS MORE basically came because I badly want more kids in our family.

So stick with me while I plunge into blogging. We'll see how this works!
Emily