Think before you speak

You are 5 years old. You are African American.You were adopted when you were newborn. Your adoptive family is white. Your family talks about your birthparents, but the only people you consider your parents are your adoptive parents.

You are looking at the candy in the check out area. Mom is talking with the check out lady. Suddenly you listen.

"Is she adopted?" the lady asks pointing to you.
"Yes," your mom answers.
"Who is her real mother?" the lady continues.
"Are they brother and sister?" the lady continues yet again, pointing to your older African American adopted brother who is placing tic-tacs in the shopping cart.

Ideas fill your mind. Thoughts, that in your little mind, can get tangled up and cause you to believe that your mom isn't your mom, that your big brother isn't your brother.

Your mom glances at your wide eyes. She didn't want thoughts like this in your mind yet. You are too little. End story.

Okay. So what's my point? This is something that drives my mom nuts! People don't think before they speak! They ask questions to adoptive families that adopted children could take the wrong way. We don't mind answering questions about adoption. Spread the word about adoption, for goodness sake! But don't ask careless questions in front of adopted children and if you do ask something, think first how a little kid might take it.

I will probably write more on this, as it is such a large topic! Here is somewhere to go if you want to learn more! http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PositiveLanguage.pdf

Check it out!
Emily